long silence

ah, mcm kekok pulak nak menaip kat blog ni..
eceh what an intro..anyway~

banyak benda y nk di blogkan.. tapi masa tak mengizinkan ?  erm sort of laa..

hari ini selepas tidur yang cukup (mengalahkan newborn baby), bangun tidur dgn mamai, terus cakap dgn suami.. eh dah habis dah weekend kite. boleh? semalam sakit kepala sgt2, dan decided untuk tidur dan melupakan masalah2 dunia. tapi bangun pagi dgn perasaan menyesal. tak tahu ape la y nak dikesalkan sgt.. sebab bazirkan masa dengan tidur je? so hari ni berazam nak make use of my time betul2.

so here i am. bangun pagi, breakfast, had my dose of al-quran, called some friend tanya khabar, cuci toilet & maen sabun :)) , get myself prepared for job interview, done my revision, dah lunch..sekarang update blog kejap. afterward solat and off to driving class!

tak sabar nk tunggu petang! Fairuz nk pergi bekam & i'm so excited with no apparent reason! ahaha mcm mane la rupe org lepas kena bekam. does it hurt? lepas tu nak jumpe Nani! yeah.

a productive day makes u feel more happier kan? *smile*

Recently from zagazig

It was 3am and was rather dark upon our arrival at zagzig. There was really not enough light to have everything visible, only dogs barking sounds and sometimes a harsh hee-haawww can be clearly heard. On the next morning, we were surprised by the goodly green view from the wide open window! MasyaAllah, it feels so pure & refreshing , and really i just falls in love with zagzig instantly.

That's me caught in action,having both hands up and 3 feets away from the opponent.
(this photo credit & copyright goes to Liyana )

this pic was taken just after kalah dengan Cairo. it was unbelievable,like seriously we should had win the game. Kitorang dah leading on the 1st half! tapi itulah takde rezeki, but still kitorang boleh senyum and that's awesome :')

i love this pic without a reason. from left,Najah, Nisa, Nana dan saya :)

The greatest lesson yang fariez belajar from the game is that i shall always and always have my emotional stable in any situation.It might be a  huge downfall but that's not a reason to have a mental breakdown..i'll keep my emotional intact,have faith and just do my best.

what ever the outcome is,surely it is best for me.Only Allah knows, while i  know not.

All praises to Allah, for the bronze medal.

sepahit hempedu

Lama betul tak bukak blog sendir, Blog orang lain ape tah lagi. Ape resipi baru mat gebu? apa isu baru dari anwarhadi? Apa kisah pagi hari di durham? dah tak penting..

Sebulan yang lepas fariez hidup sendiri, dalam dunia sendiri, melayan perasaan.Pagi sampai petang pergi kelas, berlakon kuat depan kawan-kawan, balik rumah menahan sakit sorang-sorang dalam bilik, Malam muntah-muntah. Lepastu wajiblah tidur je, study pun tak.

Lepas tu Fariez belajar, kalau Fariez kurang makan, sakit akan kurang, bila ambil injection anti spasmodic sakit akan kurang. Minggu kedua, rasa better sikit. dah tak sakit, dah tak muntah-muntah tapi selera makan berkurang. Tapi bontot sakit gile kena cucuk! Doc suruh Fariez amik vit K IM injection hari-hari? insane!

Second week tu, Fariez turun naik turun naik department surgery, mintak consultation dari doctor. Fariez harap-harap this pain can be treated by medication je. Tapi harapan jela.. I've no other option selain cholecystectomy. if fariez takde symptoms pun still kena buat cholecystectomy sebab the stone measure more than 2cm.

so yeah, Fariez ade gall bladder stone, a single stone most probably a cholesterol stone. Selama ni kalau tengok laparoscopic cholecystectomy rasa ngilu n rasa nk pengsan je, i never had my  emotional involved. Kali ni kalau tengok the operation, mmg akan emotional gila, haruslah menangiss..Tak boleh nak bayangkan perut sendiri kena tebuk.huwaaa scarrryyy wey!

So yeah, on the 3rd week,fariez  busy setelkan  futher  routine investigations, re-do the ultra sound, hospital placement, setelkan dengan insurans and all. Lastly bile dah setel  semua, rasa mcm.... huwaa, dugaan ini terlalu berat untuk ditanggung sorang-sorang.

Sequence yang ada dalam minda : Sakit-setelkan dengan hospital sorang-sorang-pergi operation sorang-sorang- stay hospital sorang-sorang. pergh forever alone.Waktu tu rasa nak lari..Dalam sibuk-sibuk tula, ada exam osce pulak. depression tahap dewa.

Tapi hidup kena diteruskan, exam kena jugak ambil. Ku kutip jualah cebisan-cebisan kekuatan yang tinggal, lalu ku teruskan jua hidup :')

Fariez decide nk belikan tiket flight untuk mak, so that ada orang temankan fariez dekat hospital nanti.Tapi sadly, abang refused. grrr, Benci ah. semua benda yang orang plan, mesti die tak setuju, ntah hape-hape ntah. Tapi takpela, mak cakap " kakak balik la , buat operation dekat Malaysia. Bolehla orang-orang tersayang datang melawat " :')

setelah sekian lama sedih-sedih, Hari ni lepas issue ticket flight rasa lega sangat-sangat-sangat .wehuu, I'm going back to Malaysia bebeh!

Most probably will have my operation done at Hospital Manjung.Still rasa takut. Tapi takpe, ade mak temankan.hehe.Korang doakanla Fariez cepat sihat, semoga operation nanti berjalan lancar, mintak di jauhkan dari open surgery, tebuk-tebuk pun dah rasa ngeri.huhu.

Siapa-siapa yang dtg melawat fariez dekat Hospital Manjung nanti jangan lupa bawakkan Pau Kaya/Kacang yang panas-panas ye! okie kidding. :))

ICU ward

Runtuh hati tengok pesakit-pesakit dekat ICU ward, they are critically ill like seriously. Pesakit tak kira usia, ada yang tua, ada yang masih muda, muda lagi dari Fariez.

Ada yang jantungnya tak mampu lagi berdegup, diberi bantuan pacemaker, yang tak mampu menyedut nafas, diberi bantuan mechanical ventilator. Sumber energy bukan lagi nasi ayam, ayam goreng, cuma cecair protein dan karbohidrat, dan jus buah yang masuknya melalui tiub-tiub melalui mulut atau hidung. Terbaring lemah je.

paling meruntun hati, ada satu female patient, very young punya masalah pernafasan dan saluran darah, kedua-kedua tangan dah gangrene. Esok lusa pasti  kena amputate. Apa makna hidup tanpa tangan? Macam mana nak siapakan makanan untuk anak-anak dan keluarga, nak buat kerja-kerja rumah, nak bekerja mencari sesuap nasi, nak tadah tangan untuk berdoa? :'( Ya Allah, beri ketabahan buat mereka, dan keluarga-keluarga mereka. Semoga mereka tergolong dalam orang-orang yang sbr..

pengalaman di ward ICU betul-betul mengingatkan hati ini.

beringatlah ketika sihat sebelum sakit, yakni lakukan lah perkara-perkara yang bermanfaat buat diri, dan masyarakat.ketika masih kuat dan berkemampuan.

Maha besar dan tak ternilai nikmat yang Allah dah beri, walaupun ianya hanya sepasang tangan..

Tapi sedikit sangat hati ni bersyukur, beryukur hanya bila dapat sesuatu, tapi jarang bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.

Jadikanlah kami hamba-hamba yang bersyukur....

update: pagi-pagi tadi, Fariez pergi ke ward yang sama, tercari-cari patient perempuan tu, Nurse cakap, dia dah meninggal. Al-Fatihah.

25

I'd always feel that there'll be a big changes in life when i'll reach my 25th birthday,hehe sekarang dah 25 tahun ade ke perubahan yang besar? :P

Turning 25 years old means i've got another one more year before i finish my degree.wehuu! Secara jujurnya, rasa macam lambatnya nak grad. Orang lain dah lama got their scrolls, dah kerja, sibuk outstation sana sini, dah ada kereta ada extra money pergi spa &  facial , some dah ada master and recently Mira msg kt facebook, saying that she going to UK sambung Phd, masyaAllah.

There's some particular things that i do regret, and also there's some things that i wish i could change but  i dont have rewind button to press on. not  even a pause or stop button. Tapi bila pikir-pikir, sebenarnya, i dont need pun the ability to go back in time :)  i dont need to correct anything that had happened in the past. Apa yang perlu Fariez buat, pandang ke hadapan kan dan jadikan kesilapan yang lepas sebagai guide line, and the fact that Allah actually had planned the best untuk hamba-hambanya buat Fariez rasa lega.

Sekarang Fariez taknak fikir banyak-banyak pasal benda yang dah lepas, taknak risau sangat pasal apa y akan jadi in the future,sebab semua Allah dah aturkan, semua adalah terbaik untuk Fariez.Fariez just kena usaha , usaha, dan doa.

flexible and less stress

Pada tahun sebelum 1966,pakar thoracic masih mengunakan bronchoscopy kaku. Bronchoscopy kaku punya fungsi yang terbatas, bahagian bronchus dan ke bawah tidak dapat divisual kan. Namun begitu, Encik Ikeda yang berasal dari Jepun dengan motto  "there is more hope with the bronchoscope" telah mencipta fleksibel bronchoscopy. dengan berdiameter lebih kecil dan dengan kemampuannya untuk melentur 180 darjah membolehkan ia pergi lebih jauh ke dalam ranting-ranting bronchi. Bagus bukan?

Jika anda seorang doktor adakah anda akan terus membuang rigid bronchoscopy kaku dan hanya menggunakan bronchoscopy fleksibel untul memvisual bahagian-bahagian pernafasan?

Tidak, kita tidak perlu berbuat begitu, walau rigid bronchoscopy punya banyak limitasi, ia jugak punya kelebihan. Generalnya,untuk foreign body removal is best done by rigid bronchoscopy.

Actually, hari ni kami ada kelas procedure bronchoscopy.

Semua orang dapat cuba. Doc cakap senang je, tak cuba tak tahu kan. tapi bagi Fariez yang 1st time ni, Fariez takde la rasa senang,tersangkut-sangkut. :)

Dengar cerita, untuk sekian kalinya cuti pendek musim sejuk akan bertukar lagi. Ini adalah kali 3 ! wah, begitula suasana hidup berkerja dengan Arab. tiada yang tetap.

Jadi pengajaran hari ni, Kalau nak dikaitkan dengan kelas tadi :marilah kita jadi seperti  bronchoscopy, menjadi lebih fleksibel, fleksibel dengan sebarang perubahan. Lebih fleksibel lebih kurang tekanan. seperti tajuk entry hari ini, flexible and less stress. walau apa pun keputusan Doc Fathy nanti, kita terima dgn hati yang terbuka. (Jangan la siapa-siapa attack Effa (6th years student representative ), kesian Effa, banyak benda dia nak kena fikir.

P/s: Tapi jangan fleksibel dalam semua benda. Waktu bila kena sepatutnya kena rigid? fikir-fikirkan lah :)

Rabu sudah!

apparently, i have to wait till I've finished the Family Medicine, Forensic & toxicology final exam and be totally free to love and laugh afterwards  ! come on Fariez, u can do it (for at least habiskan baca semua lectures and do the past year Questions) Yosh!

make doa for me pretty please.

counting down : 5 days to go!

Strength lies in differences, not in similarities

Ada sukan PERUBATAN this coming few weeks,dan  saya excited ! sebab ade netball game, each university kena hantar 2 team. Nana n Nisa had decided that our Netball team akan join. So semalam dah start turun padang, bukan training pun..cuma main sempoi-sempoi je. Akibatnya harini badan aching all over.

Nak tahu why that i'm so excited bout playing netball, of course la sebab netball ni is a vey healthy game and fun at the same time, lagi pun ini aje la game yang Fariez pandai main.kekeke :P

Anyways, looking around for the past few years,Fariez felt gratefull sgt for getting to play with these so talented friends. To name a few of them; Nisa, Dill  & Nana Ain the shooters, An as the C , Yani, Hanum, Izo the defenders.They are all great players, really-- and for the teamspirit that have been built, and all the bitter sweet memories, really i'm very gratefull for that.

For this is my very last game in Egypt,i definitely gonna give my very best, sure winning isn't everything, but trying to win is matter.

count your blessings

Dah 2 minggu round Forensic & Toxicology!

so i've been noticing lately, the time is passing faster than usual. even sometimes, i get confuse, kenapa masa bergerak so quickly nowadays, is it just a false feeling? but why it feels so real ?

anyway, hari ni kelas habis quite early, by 1.30pm fariez already dekat rumah. itupun fariez singgah kedai beli roti,susu,gula, makarona dulu. n not to mention that i'm having a great time walking slowly along the pavement in a very bright breezing weather.fariez tak reti nk describe the weather like exactly,but seriously today's weather is simply marvellous!

teringat semalam, fariez semangat berkongsi cerita gembira dengan seorang ni, lepas tu dia ulang-ulang menyebut ."kul Alhamdulillah"(arabic) dalam bahasa melayu, sebutlah Alhamdulillah. 

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Waktu gembira selalunye ingat ,but when it come to a rough time, waktu  sedih ada masalah dan stress, waktu tu, almost forget to count our blessing. Padahal waktu-waktu macam tula, kita kena lagi-lagi dekat dengan-Nya,and even closer.

betul kate Irma, be thankfull all the time and we'll never be sad.

6th year !

Ladies n gentleman, i'm now in my 6th year! My final year!

still, I am rolling in disbelief ,because years that had past just feel like yesterday.
esok dah start kelas, fariez akan posting forensic for weeks! OMG forensic, doesn't it sound interesting? but a friend of friend of mine said forensic has nothing much to offer and such it's such a boring course.Really? Though i believe people may have difference opinion and their reactions towards things may varies. I might enjoy Forensic while he's not. tengok la nanti macam mana kan.

erm,It's breezing here, i'm not sure bout the season we are in, but i love the weather so much. It's no longer boiling hot like before, and it's not winter yet. Just a nice weather. Sesuai la kalau nak pergi kelas berjalan kaki. uh? :P well, kite tgk la nanti macam mana.

Seriously dah tahun 6?

let's start kicking to the fullness!

Flow in Psychology

Csíkszentmihályi identifies the following ten factors as accompanying an experience of flow

1. Clear goals. Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high.
2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).
3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.
4. Distorted sense of time, one's subjective experience of time is altered.
5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).
7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.
9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one can reach a point of great hunger or fatigue without realizing it)
10. Absorption into the activity, narrowing of the focus of awareness down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.

Not all are needed for flow to be experienced.

(copy paste frome wiki)

Great People Sleep Less?

So sekarang 5.21 am.

Sepatutnya Fariez tido skng. sebab semalam tido lewat pukul erm 1 pagi mcm tu (tertido sebenarnya) pukul 3 dah bangun semula untuk sahur dan aktiviti sewaktu dengannya. tweeting termasuk sekali.dah 2-3 hari mcm ni.

Sepatutnya tido pukul 11 mlm, bangun pukul 3 pagi, sahur dan kemudian sambung tido lagi.Ini for the sake of tido yang cukup. Lepas SPM. Fariez sangat particular pasal tido.I need at least 4 hours of undisturbed sleep.If ada org kacau, i'll take another cycle of 4 hours sleep again. Over kan.

Sebab dah serik, masa form 4 n form 5 selalu stay up gila-gila, sampai subuh.Energetic je masa study, sbb mmg semangat study. Tambah-tambah ada geng. Geng ABC yang difitnah selalu stay up malam-malam n buat ketupat(if only u understand what ketupat means). mulut jahat mana ntah y buat cerita! Padahal kitorang study kot. anyway, maybe sbb doa-doa org teraniaya ni Allah makbulkan we got straight As instead.Alhamdulillah. Eceh. mengimbau kenangan pula.

Tapi mmg terigt pun kat kat Taiping, pagi-pagi waktu mcm ni. Sejuk. Fariez punya bilik tingkat atas. tapi tak tahu la kenapa kalau stay up duk dekat floor bawah (surau floor bawah) sampai Nani pun merajuk,Sbb frz tinggalkn die study sorang-sorang dekat atas :P . port study, meja menghadap tingkap yang nampak hutan-hutan.Tak ramai y mampu bertahan stay up sampai pagi, tapi ramai yang bangun pagi-pagi untuk study.

ah, itu cerita lama.Fariez sbnrnya terpengaruh dgn artikel dekat sekolah, ada tampal board tangga between Koop n Pejabat (Ahmad boestamam). Ada satu artikel pasal tidur. Dia cakap tidur tak semestinya cukup 6-8 jam (like what i used to believe) It's all depends on the person her/himself, if u are a growing baby, yes u need extra sleep. Ada yang cukup je tido for 4-5 hours and it's more than enough.Not that inspiring me to stay up. but later in the article.

It was mention that many great people in the world sleep lesser than a normal person used to. and because of their real enthusiasm toward things that they've been doing  some of them were staying awake for even days. to mention some name: well, i barely can recalled the names, but Frz igt ada gmbr  Albert Einstein & Sir Isaac Newton together with the article.

So that makes me thinks, if i'm enthusiastic enough towards the subject, i may end up reading/studying it for hours not to fear of losing focus or get bored of it. It's logic to me at that particluar time la. Fariez masa tu form 1.hingusan lagi, but i tell ya my ambitions were HUGE !

ikut kira-kira Fariez masa tu, if tido 7-8 hours per day, 56jam.maka dalam seminggu adalah 2 hari lebih kau tido aje. kalau tido 4 jam only, i'm going to have an extra one day. Logik? Logik pada akal Fariez.so i did practice doing that, sleep less than a normal person.and i've been an extraordinary once. Nak tahu what i get out of that?

Best student untuk 2-3 subjek.1st place dalam class straight 3 tahun.more? 1st place dalam batch  masa form 1 while 2nd dalam batch during form 2 and form 3. ( it was a handsome Indian boy who took my place) i was his big enemy since then.haha. He's doing medic jugak. uh, macam korang kesah.

Anywayy, the biggest success masa tu, bila fariez was awarded as a best student peringkat daerah Manjung (untuk sekolah harian) :') of course ramai lagi yang cemerlang, far better than me from sekolah berasrama. Pelik jugak.may be i've extra sport activities kot, netball here n there, kumpulan nasyeed sekolah,melukis for anti dadah every year, lontar peluru & rejam lembing , yeah maybe that's why. or maybe I was just lucky. Not? Allah know best.

But the down side of it, i'm not good in socializing with people. i don't know how to entertained people or make friends.Jarang sangat hangout, outing sama-sama dengan kawan. I care more bout myself, i dont bother myself to wait for others. Pergi dewan makan sorang-sorang pun tak kisah. senang cerita i'm leaving i'm own life. ada jela, kawan tapi tak macam isi dengan kuku.oh ya. Asmaliza n Azulainey study group dgn Fariez. They help me so much.

Nah, itu cerita klasik. Ada apa dengan barang y lepas?

Sekarang i'm living more or less a normal life. like majority of community did. Study when i feel like studying, or study when the subject caught my interest, study when exam is just near the corner. Watch movie, RM ,drama, when i feel like doing so, blogging, blogwalking & tweeting when im boring, did some religious & motivational reading in between. Sometimes i play games to kill the times and i'm on skype most of time.Make friends, pastu hangout & go shopping if i've extra money.The upmost important thing is i've a proper sleep (with light off ).

So kalau orang cakap, belajar medic tak cukup tido.Sure, I've no objection against that fact, tapi me myself to be very honest, for the past (almost) 5 years, i had enough sleep and even (most of the time) terlebih-lebih tidur..Lemak betul saya ni. (tipu la kalau cakap tak myesal, jeles (sikit) dengan org y mantob gila study pagi ptg siang malam (housemate sy le tew). but yeah, this is what i choose.

Sequale nya tak tahu la bagus ke tak life macam ni.For the time being it's STRESS-less.
but it's not so PRODUCTIVE as well.Dalam 24jam sehari nak dibahagikan dengan semua macam kerja,(kerja?) berapa sangat lah masa yang tinggal untuk study?

wah, panjangnya  type. tak sedar okie. Konklusinya, I need my beauty sleep like right now!! (since fariez baru tidur 2 jam).

Taa Darling~

Pushing self motivation button

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head sayingYou'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side

It's the climb

wordless wednesday #2

2003 @ maresmart written by Iqa

Mind you, there's no shortcut

"If you are too focused on the result and try to develop shortcuts, you are going to have to pay it back later somehow"

Rasa macam ayat ni  mmg dilempar khas untuk Fariez.Membayangkan dasyatnya draw back which i'll have to face in the future gara-gara gaya hidup sebagai student yang sambil lewa is exactly macam thunder strucking on my head.not less.Fuh bikin berderau darah satu badan.

Then,dua tiga kali jugak Fariez ulang baca. Dalam kotak minda ni,ayat tu automatik ter-translate dalam bahasa Msia "Kalau kau sibuk sangat pasal end result (graduated), dan sambil lewa dalam belajar medik, terima la padahnya nanti, bila kau menjadi seorang Doc.Ignorance Doktor secara tepat!"for real i heard me saying that to myself .

Yesterday, even Dr Ali Abdel Karem who handling our Clinical Round for the past 2-3 days, an expert urological surgeon said that,to be at the highest level/specialist, we actually need to start from below going step by step upwards, we don't easily jump.Even he agreed that, there are NO shortcuts! He's such an impressive figure anyway, thus he sure knew better.He is an expert doing urological laporoscopy procedure with one port.

Dang!whre am i rite now? Am i the one who is climbing the stairs step by step or the other who just thinking of an easy way to escape?

Instantly, i thought that i had no choice right now, but to take every single things, even the most tiny lil thing in this medical field as a severely serious things.Though, i'm out of time right now, but,still hoping that i'll be a better student learner mastery all the the subjects and later on become a reliable doctor.(and to be a nice an sweet doctor also ) :P

InsyaAllah

jadi objek itu yuk!

Wehhuu! Sudah Julai!

sesiapa yang nak kawen bulan 9, maka tinggal 2 bulan untuk siap-siap. Goodluck! (dalam hati :huwaaa, tuhan aje la yang tahu, and siapa-siapa yang tahu. tahu-tahu sendiri jela) hahaha.

Again, takde topik nak type. macam la selalu ade main topik?? well, memang selalunya ada topik y spesifik.like daaa? Selalunya ade isi tersirat yang nak di sampaikan dalam setiap post untuk yang memahami la kan. Tapi bukan untuk kali ini, dan tiada jaminan entry post yang akan datang untuk menjadi lebih ilmiah.

Ekoran stress yang dialami sejak dua menjak ni saya menjadi sedikit weng.Alhamdulillah masih lagi dilindungi Allah daripada rasa putus asa. Itu ajela yang saya doa setiap hari pun. Jauhkan Farieza dr rasa putus asa, berikan Farieza kekuatan.

Kalau nak dianalisiskan apakah yang mendatangkan stress..boleh penuh satu kertas kajang (dengan tulisan besar tulis guna marker pen) kalau tulis guna pen zebra tak sampai pun. adela 5 6 baris jee.Tak banyak pun masalahnya, tak sebesar mana nak dicomparekan dengan erm... dengan sesiapa2 aje la. Dan semua masalah-masalah  tersebut datangnya dari diri ini juga.Yup persepsi diri saya y menerima semua itu sbgai masalah. Dengan itu, jalan penyelesaian nya adalah mudah.Berbaliklah semula kepada diri, tukarkan persepsi.

Kadang-kadang rasa macam nak cipta satu objek yang boleh memantulkan kelemahan dan kekurangan diri luar dalam. Objektifnya supaya ternampak kelemahan sendiri lalu mendatangkan rasa rendah diri.Supaya lebih sedar diri.boley? Semoga mampu di- make up kan jadi cantik. cantik budi pekerti.

Objek ape je la yang punya sifat memantulkan? Kalau cermin, mampunya hanya memantulkan cahaya.Hanya zahir yang terpantul ke mata lalu ditafsir sel-sel otak.Bukan itu yang Fariez nak.Fariez nak benda yang memantulkan apa yang kurang dalam amalan hari ni yang buat hati murung. Apa salah yang Fariez buat hari ni yang buat hati betul-betul kacau. Apa kata-kata yang Fariez lontarkan yang buat mereka rasa jauh dr Fariez.

Akhir sekali bila dipikirin sudah bertemu solusinya.
Objek itu adalah Diri sendiri. Dengan cara bermuhasah.ye saya adalah objek itu!
Saya kena usaha sendiri menganalisis hari-hari, lalu pantulkan di skrin minda untuk di betulkan mana salah silapnya.Betei, semua nya diri sendiri :)

Surah Ar Ra'd, ayat 11.

Hidup ini tak ada jalan pintas. lupa?

(Weng:kali keberapa ntah tak tido sampai pg untuk sem ni,teringin nk minum coffee. tapi ni la masalahnya tak boleh tido!)

Pizza King

Bende yang best pasal housemate baru fariez ni, bila rasa nak makan luar ajak je, die confirm akan temankan. So sekarang tak perlu tunggu special ocassion baru nak makan luar :)

Fariez dengan tkay suka Pizza Queen, sangat suka.Pizza crust die best! Alfredo Pizza Queen pun the best! One day Dayah Omar cakap pizza king best jugak sbnrnya.So lepas da try, not bad! Makan pulak tengok sunset kan. Terbaaekk la :)

Sekarang ni duk gila tengok kereta dengan Tkay :)  Tambah-tambah bila kat bawah rumah ni banyak kereta-kereta cun parking.Ada mini copper merah siap belang kat tengah, Peugot 308, Lancer Hitam, Audi ,tak tahu Audi ape.Audi TT eh?Lepas tu ada Cerato 2 bijik satu putih satu hitam. yang putih tu sangat smart.GTI je tak nmpak lagi. Fariez yang sebelum ni naive psl kete jadi teruja kot.ohoho.rambang mata.Eceh!

Belajar tak habis lagi dah berangan nak beli kereta.Padahal dunia semata.ish. Tapi serious la, Fariez udah jatuh cinta sama Kia Cerato. Nak Cerato Coupe boleh? warna nanti-nanti la Fariez fikir eh.hehehe

message

"Tenang-tenang saja, harap semua akan okie"

gambar-gambar ni buat fariez tersenyum sendiri.

moment yang mengundang rindu 2 3 tahun lagi

Silly things happen sometime

and it happen for some reasons. ( i've always have great faith on that) 

As for today, i bet some alterations in behaviour are needed.

and surprise surprise ! i am willing to change :)

Really we learn as we age.

During my  late childhood life, i know pretty well that some changes in life are necessary for survival,

but then i never had come to a phase that i really willing to. Everything is kinda stable (or at least they look like one).so why do i have to change? Seriously,why? I can't see any logicity there.

but hey, why not ? 

erm,now i just need some times to make it happen.

Hopefully i can come out with lemonade out of a lemon :) 

(this is also a reminder to me to appreciate those who accept me as me more than before!)

Self-advise.

Hye Farieza Jaafar. Ini Nasihat untuk kamu:

Look bad. Take a risk. Lose Face. Be yourself. Share yourself with someone.
Open up.Be vulnerable.Be Human. Leave your comfort zone.Get Honest.
Experienced the fear.Do it anyway!